First

by Cousin Brian

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1.
02:22
2.
3.
01:58
4.
02:15
5.
02:18
6.
01:45
7.
8.
02:25
9.
02:22
10.
01:54
11.
02:37

about

self-produced first album.
Vinyl being released courtesy of MALLRAT RECORDS

AVAILABLE NOW !!!!

mallratrecords.blogspot.com/p/releases.html

VINYL OUT ON MALLRAT RECORDS NOW (released 06/12/12)

credits

released 12 June 2012

SEAN-v
ELLIOT-g
SHANE-b
BEN-d

Recorded in Philadelphia, PA

written, performed, produced by COUSIN BRIAN
drum recording engineer studio guy - pat loundas
Nov 2011
Artwork by ELLIOT

-for booking and other stuff contact:

cousinbrianphilly@gmail.com

tags

license

all rights reserved

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Track Name: Tired
01 TIRED

You've seen my dead eyes
They dreamed I could rise
they know my world's cold
they've seen my world sold

There's so much left to show me
I've kept to myself too long
Now I let this control me
I've tortured myself too long

I cut myself out
I nailed myself down
What have I done wrong?
I lost all once strong

What is right, or what is wrong with me?
I don't know, I don't know
I would fight, but I've grown so weak,
I just fall
That is all
Track Name: Fear Instilled
02 FEAR INSTILLED

Don't believe the mindless whistles that roll of of their tongues
Or receive the praise and comfort of belonging to one
And if I happen to go before my time
Then I'll be glad I've chosen not to lie to myself
And I know the will of my world is weak
But when I decide to go, I go.

It's changing, it all blows over
It's different, it all goes under
You hate it, it's not familiar
But you love it, you're overwhelmed

Can't you see, the walls you built are now restricting yourself
I could plea, for your permission to amuse myself
But what I have to disrupt to use reason
Then I'll proceed to do so while enjoying myself
And I know that meaning is hard to find
But when you know, I'll know, I'll know.
Track Name: Displaced
03 DISPLACED

I can't deal with this
I'm done with feeling this I know
There's a light that should've gone on
But I feel displaced, and nothing's real this way I know
The train has left and now it's long gone

I'll be right here, tightly wound
I'd shift slightly, winding down

And what love I've made
exists as fantasy in my mind
What I've learned has proven me wrong
It feels good to me although I couldn't see at the time
It's something I must do for myself
Track Name: Wrong
04 WRONG

I was told something I liked
and I wrote it off
Now I feel like I did it wrong
and then I go

Fill time with words
Now I'm sold to hope
and I know this will end so bad
and then I go

This is it
I'm waiting but I don't know what I want
I feel not dead, but lost
Track Name: Pleasant
05 PLEASANT

Feel my head, that was just a dream
I wonder in my bed, how near is that?
Both tangible and seen; It is such to me
if we both have that dream, does it make it real?

I wash my feelings clean
These things will swallow me
I know well what i need
I need it all
My universal mindset
Hurts me in my own way
I'll never be relieved
If at all

I am told what i have in me
But not until its shown,
is it understood
I spend time
picturing my life
as I would have preferred
to enjoy for once
Track Name: Disposer
06 DISPOSER

Far too long
Trust you? I don't know what you want.

Spare me this one.
I can't believe I trust myself with my life.
Track Name: Comfortably Bummed
07 COMFORTABLY BUMMED

Underneath my skin
hidden well from reason
I have fashioned such a lie
Built it up on nothing

When I throw myself away
and said all I could say
I would sleep and never wake
but these dreams I can't take

I had a change of heart
I had a change of plans again
I don't know what I want at all
I didn't ask for this at all
Track Name: It's On Me
08 IT'S ON ME

When I lift my head
my knees give way and I topple down now
As I think again I seize that thought
It's dragging me down
Censored on display
the fears and truths come out
in search of my doubt
and it's out
Just to feel that once
I'm set to feel that again but never without
I still doubt

It's on me
it's on me now
it's on me now

I owe it to myself to take this up
as part of my life, or the knife
I hold it dear to me
I steer to see who's coming up the side
oh don't hide
When it's all complete
the words will be concrete
in the front of my mind
Then I'm fine
Track Name: Forfeit
09 FORFEIT

I'm merely hanging on
It's just a reason but I want it to go
I'm really hanging on
same sense of something pulling down from below

I'm pulling
not moving
it's nearly tangling around my neck

those fears keep egging on
for me to stand up and walk away from my thoughts
I'll milk it 'til it's gone
then I'm exposed for what I always have sought

I'm pulling
not moving
it's nearly tangling around my neck
Track Name: Do Stay Over
11 DO STAY OVER

I know what's going on here
Circumstance shaped my life
Fortune is torture
Nothing about it's right
We've strayed so far now
From the things we really want
I kind of forget now
But something was on my mind…

Do stay over

Feeling so smart now
Who needs to lay am I right
You should stay over
We'll cry about these things all night
Track Name: Promise
11 PROMISE

This is smaller than you
You should leave it to yourself
At the top
Pardon me while I smack my head
Try and try
Open eyes won't fall your way
Perfect world
You can be the king

I suffer now but I keep my promise
It's bound to unleash a rebuttal
And I'm aware that I'll leave my mark here
And I'm still myself

Those who see it through
can agree there's so much more
But I know
Comfort lies in what's been done
What you stress
is the need for something new
When it's there
most will be appalled

And I feel the worst has yet to come…