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First

by Cousin Brian

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1.
Tired 02:22
01 TIRED You've seen my dead eyes They dreamed I could rise they know my world's cold they've seen my world sold There's so much left to show me I've kept to myself too long Now I let this control me I've tortured myself too long I cut myself out I nailed myself down What have I done wrong? I lost all once strong What is right, or what is wrong with me? I don't know, I don't know I would fight, but I've grown so weak, I just fall That is all
2.
02 FEAR INSTILLED Don't believe the mindless whistles that roll of of their tongues Or receive the praise and comfort of belonging to one And if I happen to go before my time Then I'll be glad I've chosen not to lie to myself And I know the will of my world is weak But when I decide to go, I go. It's changing, it all blows over It's different, it all goes under You hate it, it's not familiar But you love it, you're overwhelmed Can't you see, the walls you built are now restricting yourself I could plea, for your permission to amuse myself But what I have to disrupt to use reason Then I'll proceed to do so while enjoying myself And I know that meaning is hard to find But when you know, I'll know, I'll know.
3.
Displaced 01:58
03 DISPLACED I can't deal with this I'm done with feeling this I know There's a light that should've gone on But I feel displaced, and nothing's real this way I know The train has left and now it's long gone I'll be right here, tightly wound I'd shift slightly, winding down And what love I've made exists as fantasy in my mind What I've learned has proven me wrong It feels good to me although I couldn't see at the time It's something I must do for myself
4.
Wrong 02:15
04 WRONG I was told something I liked and I wrote it off Now I feel like I did it wrong and then I go Fill time with words Now I'm sold to hope and I know this will end so bad and then I go This is it I'm waiting but I don't know what I want I feel not dead, but lost
5.
Pleasant 02:18
05 PLEASANT Feel my head, that was just a dream I wonder in my bed, how near is that? Both tangible and seen; It is such to me if we both have that dream, does it make it real? I wash my feelings clean These things will swallow me I know well what i need I need it all My universal mindset Hurts me in my own way I'll never be relieved If at all I am told what i have in me But not until its shown, is it understood I spend time picturing my life as I would have preferred to enjoy for once
6.
Disposer 01:45
06 DISPOSER Far too long Trust you? I don't know what you want. Spare me this one. I can't believe I trust myself with my life.
7.
07 COMFORTABLY BUMMED Underneath my skin hidden well from reason I have fashioned such a lie Built it up on nothing When I throw myself away and said all I could say I would sleep and never wake but these dreams I can't take I had a change of heart I had a change of plans again I don't know what I want at all I didn't ask for this at all
8.
It's On Me 02:25
08 IT'S ON ME When I lift my head my knees give way and I topple down now As I think again I seize that thought It's dragging me down Censored on display the fears and truths come out in search of my doubt and it's out Just to feel that once I'm set to feel that again but never without I still doubt It's on me it's on me now it's on me now I owe it to myself to take this up as part of my life, or the knife I hold it dear to me I steer to see who's coming up the side oh don't hide When it's all complete the words will be concrete in the front of my mind Then I'm fine
9.
Forfeit 02:22
09 FORFEIT I'm merely hanging on It's just a reason but I want it to go I'm really hanging on same sense of something pulling down from below I'm pulling not moving it's nearly tangling around my neck those fears keep egging on for me to stand up and walk away from my thoughts I'll milk it 'til it's gone then I'm exposed for what I always have sought I'm pulling not moving it's nearly tangling around my neck
10.
Do Stay Over 01:54
11 DO STAY OVER I know what's going on here Circumstance shaped my life Fortune is torture Nothing about it's right We've strayed so far now From the things we really want I kind of forget now But something was on my mind… Do stay over Feeling so smart now Who needs to lay am I right You should stay over We'll cry about these things all night
11.
Promise 02:37
11 PROMISE This is smaller than you You should leave it to yourself At the top Pardon me while I smack my head Try and try Open eyes won't fall your way Perfect world You can be the king I suffer now but I keep my promise It's bound to unleash a rebuttal And I'm aware that I'll leave my mark here And I'm still myself Those who see it through can agree there's so much more But I know Comfort lies in what's been done What you stress is the need for something new When it's there most will be appalled And I feel the worst has yet to come…

about

self-produced first album.
Vinyl being released courtesy of MALLRAT RECORDS

Buy @ slugsalt records -

www.slugsaltrex.com/categories/distro

VINYL OUT ON MALLRAT RECORDS NOW (released 06/12/12)

credits

released June 12, 2012

SEAN-v
ELLIOT-g
SHANE-b
BEN-d

Recorded in Philadelphia, PA

written, performed, produced by COUSIN BRIAN
drum recording engineer studio guy - pat loundas
Nov 2011
Artwork by ELLIOT

-for booking and other stuff contact:
cousinbrianphilly@gmail.com

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Cousin Brian Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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